Monthly Archives: February 2019

Betrayed Partners and Men with Poisoned Souls: Interview with a Former Sex Buyer in Germany

In front of the largest furniture store in Karlsruhe (a large city in southwestern Germany), two advertising placards stand side-by-side: one for a brothel and the other for a restaurant, promoting its venue for celebrations of marriage (See Figure). In Germany both stand together and apparently that does not shock anyone any more. However, prostitution does not only have disastrous conse- quences for the women in prostitution, but also has consequences for betrayed women in relationships with the buyers of sex.

Advertisements for a Brothel and a Restaurant with Celebrations for Marriages

A former buyer of sex contacted me, Ingeborg Kraus, a Karlsruhe, Germany psychologist and anti-prostitution advocate, after reading some of my work on the Internet. Eventually a telephone interview ensued.

The interviewee, an independent entrepreneur, is a 56-year-old man who was an active sex buyer for six-and-a-half years, quitting in 2015, nearly four years ago. Married for 36 years, with three adult children, his wife separated from him in 2017, and a divorce is in process.

In this interview, which follows, I focus on the realities of prostitution on society, and specifically on the harm of prostitution on the sex buyer’s wife and on relationships between men and women. The interview demonstrates that what the buyers are doing to their wives is an incredible harm, causing huge mental health damages. These collateral damages of prostitution have not come into focus until recently. Given the fact that there are a great number of married men, or those living in a firm relationship, who buy sexual services, the number of psychologically injured women in these relationships probably reaches the two-digit millions.

From his active participation on Internet forums, the interviewee tells me that he believes he is typical of many users of women in prostitution.

Here is the link: https://digitalcommons.uri.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1154&context=dignity

The United Nation 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development


“Germany will have a seat on the UN Security Council for 2019/2020. Gender equality is a precondition for global sustainable development and a central target of the United Nations Agenda 2030. It cannot be that Germany has been given a co-responsibility for keeping peace in the world, when Germany in its own country, with its legislation on prostitution, is waging a war against women. It´s a fatal contradiction.” Dr. Ingeborg Kraus
at: the Global Conference in Madrid